Friday, May 12, 2006

The art of Listening

The Art of Listening

Well whenever my husband talks something important with me I always annoy him by interrupting in between , well I am not a good listener he says, so I just tried to be one by analysing all about being a good listener, hey hope it would help you too to become one if you are not.

An emphathetic listener is hard to come across.When anyone is talking we crave to become centre of attention continuously either by poking our views into the conversation, or by reacting internally or by paying no heed and attention to what is being said. So even while listening, listener wants to grab attention.

BUT one must realise always that silence is more potent than speech.The best listener will be most influential as there is no loss of energy in interaction, thus stress is all kicked off. To listen quietly attentively, without being a judge yourself or interpreter or poking your nose every now and then - you show your respect to the speaker and it also marks hospitability.

Mind you , attentive listening also conveys to you the feelings attached and conveyed through the words which are spoken..So instead of parts, you take in the whole of the spoken ideas.

But how to become an emphathetic listener - value other more than yourself - as listening is all about mindfulness, a genuine interest in other person and the esteem respect you give to him/her. It thus leaves you free from all sort of distractions - thereby enabling you to get whole of message in the speech.
Secondly you need to learn to be patient, you need to listen as if you are listening to something you had never listened before - no condemnation , no acceptance. Slow your thinking process, let curiosity crave in and the approach be a simple one. It may I think at some point of time become an outlet to devotion (something spiritual). It , I feel will make you more effective communicator yourself.

There is one more reason to become an emphathetic listener. Self sufficiency and success dominate the idealogy of world today and failure is all nothing but trashed ruthlessly.This listening will heal and help the despair. It would help them to regain their intrinsic worth and their right to exist. Such a person to whom no one listens becomes depressed and desperate, he/she gets broken and develops low self-esteem.There begins suffering and pain which is suffocating and killing.This demoralised, dejected person now starts vomitting his heart to strangers, and -- relatives, nearones are just cause for agony to him.You lose the will and hope to survive and live . So effective listening can provide one with much needed healing touch.

In other words you can grade it as one of the ways to serve the needy and service to God.

O God help me to become an emphathetic listener for my good and for my friends good.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Depression - Just kick it out of your Life !

Depression - Just kick it out of your LIFE

What is Depression? Let me analyze---- It is something which happens deep inside me. More precisely you expect some happenings which do not happen OR you expect something or somebody to be the way you want OR you want the world and destiny to be your way but AGAIN it does not happen. More fundamentally you are against that all which is happening. It may be a person, situation or life itself with increased depth as you move from former to latter.

Now --- why is one against anything? Just because it did not go the way you wanted.Why should the world act your way?It means you hold no faith in Almighty - our Creator who created this world or you have no acceptance or both, instead you have a hypersensitive EGO, that is the reason why you get depressed.

Depression is like suicide---it makes you cynic.You will always try to cause damage or hurt yourself. Depressed person uses depression as weapon to chop himself and make others feel miserable - TO GET SYMPATHY - he wants the other person to bleed with him.

What gets hurt in reality when we are depressed ? If body gets hurt, it's all together different,because it has got to do nothing with depression. Mind cannot get hurt - O God it is just the EGO that gets hurt. So if you feel you want to grow, trample your EGO and move ahead and beyond it.

O God - I know, you, your ways boast of negativity in EXISTENCE.This implies any emotion can prove to be a creative force in our life. Negatives can also be looked as Constructive Dimensions e.g A negative and positive wire together lit light, implies negative is equally important as positive and it is not just be supposed to be kicked or get rid of.

Thus if sadness is surrounding you, telling you, you are so, so and so! Good - make use of your sadness to GROW. Irritation will only give birth to anger. Mind you, to think that world is wrong is a fool's thought. It is upto you how you use your sadness - anger or love - compassion.

Sadness---gives birth to---Compassion---which helps in---dissolving energy---dissolve it more & lead your way to well-being.

Tragedy with persons on Earth is that they understand humanity only when they are mauled by life. Sadness makes you more mature. Sadness and Pain - if you had experienced - then only you can know what's happening to you and everybody else around you. Pain should be thanked because of which you could know COMPASSION. It is very important to learn to use our emotion in a creative fashion.

Try to bring balance midst physical, mental and energies you possess, make them vibrate effectively - this will make you all blessed with bliss - And near a BLISSFUL person depression dare not creep and exist.

O God thanks for all your blessings!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Pain, Sorrow, Love, Life, Happiness - A thought

Pain, Sorrow, Love, Life, Happiness - A thought

All the above 4 are deeply well knitted emotions of life.From one emerges the other or the one contains the other.

1). Sorrow is a regretful feeling which we unnecessarily invite in our lives.Useless extreme unnecessary thinking gives birth to sorrow, we analyse, manipulate and visualise happenings unnecessarily which brings sorrow. Further our indiscriminate attitude gives birth to this sorrow. Right attitude is the key to get rid of it.

2). Pain I feel is the best practical teacher, as we know change is the most consistent attribute that has/will survive till centuries and may be forever - this change is signaled by pain we experience in life.Pain tells us to become more expansive, it tells us, it's time to change.One should learn, and detect what life wants to tell when it gives you pain, moment you interpret and act, it is all gone.I had learnt to work effectively and more positively through the learning lessons I got from my this teacher called Pain.At times it positively changes, your whole course of life.

3). Life - Observe a river flowing.Could you personify it a bit?Life is like a flow - till the time you are witness to the flow you will not get affected to anything but the moment you fall trap to this flow, you experience all sorts of sorrow.(Similarly pain urges us to expand our lives.Here life is like ocean - be guided by polestar and not by bow of the ship.Life through pain teaches you lesson, learn to learn it, every pain we come across in life has some deep meaning to convey to us.Life is not shallow - It's meaning rests in it's depthness, it is for us to understand)

4). Love is unity; Love is oneness.It is the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced.It takes you near to God as you want to thank him again and again for it.Watch a river - If you see 2 banks - it means water (ego) is between the 2 that's why they are seperated, this something in between is the only threat to love.Moment you learn to kick it out, we are one and then you experience the Almighty.Love continuously wants to give, it never demands.In other's happiness lies my happiness, in his smiles lie my smiles.Love teaches you to give, it makes you selfish in unselfish way.It makes you sing dance and smile.It gives you complete contentment.It gives you fulfillment .It makes life worthwhile.Mind you love is not sacrifice it is all giving happily.

5). Happiness - I read once happiness is infinity in true sense.Something which goes and goes forever.And I discovered Yes in wider perspective.Happiness is infinity.We are born, we live, we die - ultimately sorrow is what we leave for others, but our deeds which had brought a smile on a crying face will live forever with a lasting happiness, it will never die, there lies happiness.My acts which will bring happiness to me and the relative person or thing is the real happiness.Perishable contains happiness in shallow form, but non-perishable has happiness woven in it which even time can never kill.Good thoughts, good deeds, good actions which would give happiness to you and your acquaintances living or non living is happiness in real sense.

Happiness - brings you closer to contentment and fulfilment and thus closer to our master in the sky.Moment we learn to be happy - we start living our lives of purpose.I thank you God for making me realise so and I pray you to be my polestar while I swim in this life of mine called ocean.I had felt you through my love Pareekh but now I also want you to feel through happiness,Always be my friend, philospher and guide.